5 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others on Social Media
Social media allows us to share photos, content, and information with our friends and followers. It started out as a way to connect with people you knew directly (friends and family), but soon evolved into the vast, multipurpose network that it is today, connecting billions of people all over the world.
There are more than 4.7 billion social media users around the world consuming content and sharing information on platforms such as Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook. This gives it the ability to spread and evolve almost instantaneously, making it difficult to keep up with trends, news, and pop culture. This feeling of “falling behind” then has the ability to fuel the addiction of constant “doom-scrolling.”
Social media also plays a role in marketing strategies for businesses and influencers who promote different lifestyles and products regarding makeup, fashion, photography, fitness, and even niche categories, like knitting or sewing. All of this marketing plays a major role in how you view yourself and your life, and can easily lead you down a comparison trap that impacts your mental health.
Falling Into a Social Media Comparison Trap
Social comparison refers to “a behavior where we compare certain aspects of ourselves (e.g., our behavior, opinions, status, and success) to other people so that we have a better assessment of ourselves,” (Buunk & Gibbons, 2007).
Seeing a “perfect” life on social media might make you reflect on your own life and what you’re lacking in comparison, creating unrealistic expectations for your life. This negative outlook can lead to low self-esteem and depression, as no matter how hard you try, you’ll probably never achieve the curated version of reality that social media presents as the standard.
How Does Social Media Impact You?
Every form of media that we consume adds information to our subconscious, and while it can provide great benefits to communicate with friends and family, it can also bring upon a plethora of negative effects:
Disruption of sleep or irregular sleep patterns
Unrealistic expectations or views of other people’s lives
Exposure to inappropriate content
Cyberbullying
Isolation
Distraction from daily obligations
What is shown on social media is usually not the reality of the person behind the camera. Typically, posts are framed to promote a product, a lifestyle, or a brand. Often, social media users are paid to claim that a product is credited for their beauty, health, or influence. This might include fitness equipment, detox teas, makeup, diet gummies, etc. Ads have become harder to recognize for what they are. Instead, they are masked as a regular person just sharing their “love” for a product that is guaranteed to change your life.
Even though every person’s experience is different, social media has facilitated the path for social comparison and unhelpful patterns of thinking. Excessive social media use has been linked to mental health disorders, and studies show that social media apps where users browse through people’s profiles, comment on their looks, and post their own photos, are linked to lower levels of body appreciation.
Lower body appreciation leads to mental health disorders like body dysmorphia, eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, among others), self-harm, and even suicidal thoughts. If you are feeling this way, we are here to support you through individual counseling aimed at improving your self-esteem.
Additionally, social media can be addictive and can lead to a sense of FOMO (fear of missing out), causing people to spend more time on their devices and less time engaging in other activities.
How to Stop the Comparison Game:
Reduce Social Media Use
Reducing the time you spend on your phone or computer is recommended to start the journey toward a healthier relationship with yourself. Here are some ways you can work on this:
Use an app to track the time you spend on social media every day
Some phones have the option to set limits for your most used apps. If you think you are spending too much time on TikTok, for example, you can set a daily time limit.
Don’t bring your phone to bed. Leave your phone charging overnight in a location that is out of reach.
Take breaks: Take regular breaks from social media, even if it's just for a few hours a day. Spend time engaging in other activities that bring you joy.
Unfollow negative accounts: Remove accounts that make you feel anxious, stressed, or unhappy. Follow accounts that bring positivity and inspiration to your life.
Disable social media notifications that are unnecessary.
2. Spend Time with Friends Face-to-Face
Spending time with your friends in real life, outside of a screen, can help you manage stress and can provide emotional support, resources, and care. This is tailored social support that is specifically meant for you, not thousands of others behind a screen. Meeting face-to-face allows for a more genuine connection and cathartic experience.
3. Compare Yourself to...Yourself
If you were to compare yourself to your neighbors, friends, and family, what might your assessment be? You might say “I’m doing alright.” Yet, when you compare yourself to celebrities, wealthy CEO’s, privileged influencers, and the best of the best in your field of work or study, of course you’re going to feel like a small fish in a big pond.
Happy, confident people use themselves as intrinsic motivation. Sure, they may notice those with more, but they don’t let it impact their self-esteem. Instead, they stay focused on their own improvement. They compare themselves to themselves, rather than others.
4. Use Envy as Inspiration
Jealousy is a natural feeling. Rather than label it as “bad,” you can use it to inform your own desires. You can even use it as a springboard for self-growth and motivation. Explore what you admire and appreciate about other people and get curious about whether or not your behaviors are leading you in a similar direction. If not, it may be time to evaluate what is standing in your way.
5. Seek Professional Help
Lowering your use of social media and changing your thought patterns might be too difficult to achieve on your own. Fortunately, there are several resources you can access to help in this journey, such as individual counseling or group therapy sessions that can help you learn skills like mindfulness and emotion regulation. These techniques can help you learn to be present and aware of your thoughts, behaviors, and social influences. They will also assist you in learning about underlying issues that may be contributing to excessive social media use.
It's important to remember that social media is not inherently bad for mental health. It can contribute positively to your life in many ways. However, it is essential to set boundaries around social media use, engage in self-care activities, and seek support when it becomes problematic or contributes to a decrease in your self-esteem.
Therapy to Improve Self-Esteem in Raleigh, NC
Our trained therapists at Your Journey Through are here to support you in breaking out of the comparison trap you may have unintentionally found yourself in. Our goal is to help you achieve a healthier relationship with social media and other outside influences that impact the way you view yourself and the world around you.
Together we can explore your experiences, behaviors, and beliefs. With the benefit of fresh insight and nervous system regulation, you will be able to identify patterns that are holding you back from health and happiness while gaining the strength and coping strategies to overcome them.
We offer flexible scheduling and both in-person and virtual appointments. We want therapy to be as accessible, convenient, and comfortable for you as possible.
